No Bad Parts

Richard C Schwartz

It is a heavy one. But if you are ready to do the work, then I’d say get your seatbelt on and go deep. Be kind, be patient and be open with this one and you are sure to reap some really impressive personal growth rewards.

Internal Family Structures is a uniquely empowering way to look at our own multifaceted minds. It helps us go right into the make up of our own precious selves and work out which parts are scared and stuck. Which parts need to be set free, compassionately and with grown up understanding.

We essentially have whole communities in our minds, the from the rebellious child through to the drill sergeant. We create characters to guide us, soothe us, discipline us. We also have the power to work with these and guide them to a beautiful cohesive way of working. One that is lead by love alone.

“IFS can be seen as attachment theory taken inside, in the sense that the client’s Self becomes the good attachment figure to their insecure or avoidant parts. I was initially amazed to discover that when I was able to help clients access their Self, they would spontaneously begin to relate to their parts in the loving way that the textbooks on attachment theory prescribed. This was true even for people who had never had good parenting in the first place. Not only would they listen to their young exiles with loving attention and hold them patiently while they cried, they would firmly but lovingly discipline the parts in the roles of inner critics or distractors. Self just knows how to be a good inner leader.”

It’s been used as a positive technique for trauma, addiction, depression therapy. For me, on a personal level, it helped me see the ‘little girl me’, the one that somehow became trapped and scared at some point. I developed an ability to soothe her. To close my eyes and take her gently by the hand and show her with my grown up wisdom, that everything is going to be ok. That she too is safe and loved and life is going to be just fine.

“Parts are little inner beings who are trying their best to keep you safe.”

Read this when you are ready, not before and not too late. You’ll know the moment. Enjoy x